Erase the Space: An initiative to get kids talking across difference

May 28, 2018

I experienced an amazing event today at the Columbus College of Art Design (CCAD), the hosts of an Erase the Space event. Erase the Space is a civil program that brings high school students together from different communities and schools in the Columbus area to talk about common challenges students have, through the lens of civil discourse.

Amelia and Derek, teachers from South High School and Liberty High School came up with this innovative idea through their Master’s degree fellowship at the Bread Loaf School of English. Little did they know that the idea they conceived would draw the attention and support of the Columbus Foundation, teachers from across Columbus and the faculty and graduate students from CCAD.

When Derek first reached out to Compassionate Communication Center of Ohio (CCCO) a few months ago, he shared that he was deeply inspired by the work of Compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC). He had been reading and watching videos about the work online. He told me he wanted the principles and practices of NVC to be a central part of supporting students in having conversations across social, economic and cultural differences. He imagined NVC could offer much-needed core competencies on empathic listening, a method of listening in which the other person feels heard, understood and confident to speak honestly from a compassionate stance.

It was interesting to see the commonalities of activities from the structural design teams at CCAD and NVC. The core of both practices is focusing on getting to the heart of the needs. The focus of the morning exercises were diving a little deeper into understanding the other students’ challenges while focusing on needs that motivate their behavior. The afternoon was spent immersed in collaborating and co-creating projects that will increase connections by advocating for equity and inclusion within central Ohio area.

Seeing 50 teens working together toward solutions for social justice issues from many social, economic and diverse backgrounds gives me hope for a world that can work for everyone.

A couple of the projects that really stood out for me were: “A Day in Your Shoes” where students would swap places for a day, following each other’s school schedules; and another is a series of cross-cultural gatherings at Columbus Parks and Recreation, where families can come together for job fairs and offer ideas for business ventures while their kids play at the park. There was a pulse of optimism and hopefulness present as we witnessed the teens from very diverse backgrounds immersed in creative ways of bringing neighbors and communities together.

This Erase the Space event is the grand finale of a year of establishing connections and commonalities, breaking down cultural barriers and diving deeper into challenging issues such as diversity, racism and access to resources that they face regularly and how they can make a difference by being stronger together rather than isolated into one way of thinking.

If you’d like to know more about Erase the Space please view their website at erasethespace.org.

BY:
Susanna Warren, Outreach and Program Director
Compassionate Communication Center of Ohio
Certified trainer with the International Center for Nonviolent Communication

Reflections on Living Compassion Retreat with Robert Gonzales

February 19th, 2018
Janine Harris Degitz

As I was thinking about Robert Gonzales’s upcoming retreat in Columbus, Ohio, in May 2018, I wondered what the best way would be to describe the retreat and the work of living compassion. Over the past 10 years of knowing and studying with Robert, I haven’t experienced him as a teacher, a guru, mystic or spiritual leader, but as a companion on this journey of discovering how to live life more fully activated and free.

“To fully empower our place in life, our engagement in life, we must first find, cultivate and strengthen the center from which we engage with life. The center where our values lie, our heart center, the center of our life force energy as it flows through us. When we act from our center, fueled by love, we start to harness a force that is beyond what we’ve known as possible.”
— Robert Gonzales

An image of a spelunking journey down into a cave came to me, with Robert being one of many that shines his light so that we all can more clearly see our internal and thereby external relationship to the world. His commitment to living compassion and sharing what he has learned along the way has had a significant influence on my life. He continues to bring my attention back to an ongoing inquiry: What is my relationship to life? Where is my attention? How do my habitual patterns of living life show up in my body? Do I tend to live from fear and judgement?

Just as we don’t go caving alone and navigate the myriad of difficulties without support. This work of living compassion requires us to enhance our community-building skills, create a variety of support networks and strengthen our embodiment and consciousness to create a lasting impact on our day to day lives.

I don’t know about you, but my own early training in relationships, community-building, communication and compassion (both for self and others) was limited. In fact, our education in North America is steeped with messages of independence, self-consciousness, blame and shame, and right/wrong thinking. We are trained to analyze, label and diagnose, and we are conditioned to disengage from our body’s energy and rely on our thinking brain to solve all of our problems. All of these habits, behaviors and thinking take us away from “what is” in this moment and distract us from feeling the truth of our experiences and seeing our shared common humanity.

Things happen in life, and my experience has been no different than many others. The serious illness of my 5-year-old daughter, the traumatic brain injury of another, my own health crisis. This work of living compassion is the recognition that no matter what is happening in our inner life – whether it be fear, joy, anger, or grief – it is an aliveness that is pointing to something that matters to us in relationship to life itself. As Robert mentions, the illusion of a separate inner and outer life is quite strong in our culture – we are always in relationship to life. There can be no separation.

If you have been wondering if there is another way of engaging in the world during this time of social and political divisiveness that is empowering instead of reactive, this retreat will inspire new skills and consciousness. Robert will offer a variety of exercises on how to recognize when you are stuck in fear, protection and judgement and restore your capacity to choose to engage from a grounded, value-centered place. There will be opportunity to explore and co-create with a community of learners, to strengthen the very muscles we all need to live life more fully activated and free.

Give yourself this time to explore your relationship and engagement in your life through attending the upcoming week-long retreat with Robert Gonzales in May 2018. This retreat will be filled with opportunities to work in dyads, group opening and closing circles, journaling, art expression, movement and silent integration in the natural world.

For more information about the retreat and registration, click here:  Compassionate Communication Center of Ohio.

This article was originally published on restorativeliving.org. Reprinted with permission.

About the Author:

Janine Harris Degitz. Janine has been studying Nonviolent Communication (NVC) since 2005 with a focus on Robert Gonzales’s work of Living Compassion. In addition to NVC Janine has been studying conflict resolution, community building, mediation and restorative justice practices for the past 20 + years. She earned a Master’s degree in Restorative Practices from the International Institute for Restorative Practices (IIRP) in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Embodiment as her guide, Janine has been deeply influenced and is a facilitator of the work of Philip Shepherd – The Embodied Present Process (TEPP), Marcia Miller – Urban Zen Integrative Therapy (UZIT) and Gunther Hauk – Spikenard Honey Bee Sanctuary. You can find more information about Janine at her website: www.restorativeliving.org

To me, NVC is a way of life

*by Tom Carlisi

To me, NVC is a way of life, not just a communication tool. Through the practice of seeking connection to our humanity and universal needs with others, NVC fosters the principles of Peace, Justice, and Unity that spiritual practices also invite us to aspire to our lives.

On a personal level, NVC provides me with a “framework” that I can live by each day, as I am stimulated by various issues. Do I respond with Empathy and Mutuality, or am I “triggered” by some judgment of self and/or others.?  When I am in “Jackal” reaction, NVC provides a learnable process to “shift from judgments…to “Giraffe” heart connection…to Self-Empathy… to Empathy with Others. I feel connected to a “power greater than myself”…in 12 Step Program and Spiritual terms. The meaning in all I do is enhanced by this “NVC way of life”.

I have valued Social Change issues most of my life, through volunteerism of various issues in my youth. In my early 20’s, my first direct Social Change action involved protest march in Washington, DC…encouraging USA to find Peace Resolutions to end the Viet Nam War. This march was peaceful and I felt a “power with” contribution with the “mainstream” of society, while expressing a collective voice. From my 20’s to 40 years of age, I chose! the profession of Counseling as a way to help others. I was also an active volunteer in key social change issues, such as Social Justice, Alleviating Poverty, etc. I felt satisfied to contribute to individuals and families, and select social causes.

Then I experienced a major shift in my life. I felt inspired to contribute to the needs of many youth in the Education field. At the time, in the local Columbus City School system (over 60,000 youth), 40% of students were not graduating from high school. Violence and drug issues were rampant. I decided to start a non-profit organization to help contribute to some of these issues. The organization was called, Winners’ League Foundation.

The intention was to inspire youth to feel empowered in their educational process by connecting classroom learning to “real life” social issues, and partner with local community agencies to help resolve these issues. The learning model is called Service Learning. Our organization developed educational programs on topics of Violence and Drug Prevention, Environmental Stewardship, Health and Fitness, and Enhancing Literacy.  Over the next 15 years, through a “Train the Trainer” model with teachers and youth facilitators, we positively engaged over 25,000 youth (and families).

In 2004, I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC), in Atlanta, Georgia, as a participant in a 3 day training program with Marshall Rosenberg, PhD. I was so moved by Marshall Rosenberg’s message of NVC. I concluded that this approach to “life learning and peace” was the most “simple and elegant” model that I had experienced in 30 years of counseling and community engagement.

I personally committed to 3 objectives, 1) incorporate NVC into my personal life, 2) help bring NVC to my home city of Columbus, Ohio, and 3) incorporate NVC into my professional counseling and training career.

In the next 2 years, Compassionate Communication Center of Ohio (CCCO) was formed. It’s mission is to promote peace, help eliminate violence, and foster conflict resolution systemically, using the NVC model. The systemic intention is to encourage Social Change action through partnership with various sectors of our community (Education, Social Services, Faith Communities, Business, Government, Justice, etc.).

In summary, NVC has enriched my personal life, by providing a framework to live by…and contribute to Social Change…through pro-active action in my professional career and through volunteerism. I am grateful for the introduction to NVC and I am committed to continue to foster Social Change, as I can.

What I am doing now with NVC:

 At this time, I am involved in integrating NVC into Social Change through the following initiatives:

• Community Development

  • Creating Community Partnerships on the South Side of Columbus, Ohio, with Community Development 4 All People & Reeb Avenue Center, to host NVC Introduction Meetings, NVC Practice Group(s), and NVC Workshops

  • I am working with CCCO, our local NVC community 501(c) (3) organization

• Higher Education

  • Creating a new Service Learning course, titled, “Nonviolent Communication and Social Action” – to be taught at OSU, College of Social Work…targeted start date – January 2018

• Secondary Schools (High & Middle Schools, After School Sites), featuring Service-Learning

  • Creating a new Service Learning program for High School, Middle School, and After School Programs, titled “Peace & Social Justice”

• Rotary (Professional Service Organization) and Rotaract (College/University Service Clubs)

  • Creating an new Volunteer Service program through Rotary and Rotaract (college service clubs, titled “Peace Through Service” (Rotaract District 6690) in Ohio (USA)

• NVC & 12 Step Program

  • Aligning NVC process with 12 Step Program, starting with the 4th Step (NVC workshop)

• NVC & Addiction Recovery

  • Demonstrating how NVC process can help with Addiction Recovery and Relapse Prevention issues…with a special focus on Opiate Addiction Recovery in Ohio (planning grant)

• NVC in US Virgin Islands

  • In discussions with key leaders in US Virgin Islands, regarding NVC & Social Change initiatives in various sectors, including, 1) Education, 2)Youth Workforce Development, 3) Restorative Justice, 4) Addiction Recovery issues)

• NVC & Research

  • To develop and demonstrate “NVC Best Practice Programs” with evidence based research in next 3 years.

*CCCO is sharing Tom’s descriptive profile of his work, in celebration of his Certification as a Trainer with The Center for Nonviolent Communication, announced June 6, 2017.